We all live in regrets. I do. For the past 4 years, I think I have been living with a thousand shadows of regret. Waking up with words like "If I just had one more day back then...", and even ending the day with "Because I should have been like this..."
I am in a continuous process of learning and accepting that things happened because it was suppose to happen. According to Peter from Fringe, Dejavu is fate telling you that you are on the right track..that you are where you are supposed to be. So I guess I had to be crossing that hall going to work that morning, because it was what I am meant to be doing. It's not like it's a change-of-life kind of moment. But it's what I needed to feel and realize I was not in the wrong path.
People on the other hand that came and went in my life were suppose to come and go. There were questions answered with that minimal yet meaningful period with them. And I would be lying if I'd think there'd be no new questions that came out from them.
But what carries me through? The point that I am still breathing at this moment, how much itchy my throat is, even with how much the hangover is killing me and that Monday is just another few hours away, life just carries me through. As much as I would attempt myself to go against the flow and go back from years before.. I just can't. Might as well let it me flow through, and put up with the crazy things and people all the while that Life will never once in a second cease to shower.
And if I get to the point of feeling all burnt out.. I'd rather take a breather for awhile and pause. No stepping backwards, just trying to catch the profoundness of that moment, to be able to feel the power that I have come this far. And besides, there's no way out of life. It's either you live, or you die. I'm never gonna be able to answer in a straight sentence if someone asks me my purpose in life. I believe Life itself is the purpose you live.
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